Need
by Lady Sable
Summary: Ansem wants Riku more than anything, but can he give up his very morals to have him? Ansem and Riku pairing. PWP Yaoi.


**Need **

_Summary: A dark story of lust between Ansem and Riku…sexaaaaah!_

_AN: Was listening to KMFDM and they got me into a bit of a darker mood. That, along with being very ill and woozy with drugs, inspired this fic! It's PWP along with being a shameless vent for my naughty thoughts. _

_As always…I do not own **Kingdom Hearts**. It belongs to its respective owners. _

_In short: not me. _

_So if nothing makes sense…blame it on my failing health. (Cue five minutes of throat-rawwing coughing fits) _

_x.x;;_

* * *

**XXX**

_I desire you._

_I crave you. _

_I long for you._

_I want you…_

_No, I **need **you._

_I **need **your touch._

_I **need **you._

…

My hand whispered ever so slightly against the pale, bruised flesh of his shoulders. The smooth, supple skin was marred with dark blotches of violet and blue that highlighted his well-formed muscles and made me crave to soothe away the pain that must still ache below the damaged surface.

_'How long has it been since I've made anyone feel relieved, though?'_

I couldn't answer my own question…it seems that of late, I can no longer find any answers for the questions burning in my mind. The reason for that may be that in the past few months my twisted, impure thoughts have only been on one thing…

Riku.

I chanced a glance down at his young body, sprawled across my bed in slumber. He had worn himself out during training and lacked the strength to even drag himself back to his bedroom.

'_So he ends up sleeping soundly in **my** bed…making my already questionable thoughts go to hell.'_

…

Refusing to let my wandering mind remain on the untouchable nymph lying in my bed, I removed myself from the edge of the mattress and replaced the lost warmth by tossing one of my dark blankets over his unmoving frame. The pliant, ebony silk sheet cascaded and settled over his pale figure, obscuring his soft flesh from my view.

'_Thank God…I don't think I can stand looking at him anymore. That vulnerable, beautiful body…those soft silvery locks of hair…those long, sooty lashes brushing ever so slightly against his cheeks…'_

…The young male could set me on fire even while he was unconscious, unaware of what simply his presence was doing to my heated body.

'_Wrong. Those thoughts are unacceptable, Ansem…no more thoughts on the desirable, **unobtainable**, young boy currently occupying your bed.'_

But Goddamn…the boy could set me on the edge.

I felt as though I was constantly walking a rope bridge around the boy. Any wrong move and I felt as though I would topple over into a chasm of sinful desires and immoral thoughts each time that I simply laid eyes on him.

'_How the hell does he do that…a mere child make me quiver with a such a forceful hunger…a yearning I haven't felt for years...' _

At first glance, the boy would appear to be normal…a normal angst-filled teenager cursing the world and feeling immeasurable jealousy towards his friends. He, by all rights, should not be the subject of my deepest desires…of my depraved dreams.

'_But he is…he's a glorious, amazing child with unusually high combative potential, expert distraction skills and a well-toned body any woman would kill to lay her hands on. _

…_Any woman and me.' _

I snorted in disgust at my own sinful yearnings and I rolled my head in frustration, aching for salvation from the torture of wanting the unbearably alluring male.

I shook my head viciously, overwhelmed by thoughts of what I _could_ be doing to Riku at that moment.

He was so tender and vulnerable in the large folds of my deep bed… Oh, what I wouldn't give to be moving above him…running my fingers over his soft, pale body as he cried out below me…his perfectly formed lips curving around my collarbone as I run my fingers through his shimmering silver locks…

A shudder ran through my body at my own vivid thoughts of lust.

'_I need to get out of here before I do something I may…regret.' _Before I turned to the door, I gave one last glance at Riku and before I could stop myself, I let a hand drop down to the bed, my fingertips brushing lightly against his silk-covered thigh.

'_Ansem! Get a grip on yourself! Where the hell is your self control?' _

Riku gave a little bit of a soft sigh and moved into my touch. Shocked, I pulled my hand back quickly, almost as if I had been burned. It was so wrong…but…

'_No buts. Now leave before you do the unthinkable to that young boy.' _

XXX

The next morning I sat slumped over the marble kitchen counter, gently stirring a mug of coffee and pushing away thick strands of silver hair that had spilled over the countertop.

_'Another night of unrest…I have to stop torturing myself over this. From now on…I can't think of Riku in **that **way…'_

"G'Morning Ansem."

I looked up as Riku entered the kitchen and felt my jaw gape. The boy had neglected to put on a shirt and strolled into the kitchen stretching and yawning, showing off the well-defined muscles of his chest and abdomen. My previous thoughts of chastity vanished from my mind, as a heated desire rushed through my body at the sight of the impossibly attractive teenager.

…I suddenly ached to lean him over the kitchen table and take him in the most primitive way imaginable.

I knew the idea was perverted and shameful…but Riku wasn't helping to cool down my overheated body by letting his navy boxers ride dangerously low on his hips, showing off alabaster skin and prominent hip bones I was dying to run my fingers across…

"…You slept longer than usual." I managed to squeak out, even though my tongue was thick and heavy in my mouth. Riku didn't seem to notice my upset speech though and he seated himself and ran a hand through his tangled silver locks, nodding.

"Yeah," The object of my affection yawned and stretched again, afterwards running his soft fingers over the marring bruises lining the curve of his shoulder. "I was dead tired from training last night. I hope you don't mind that I slept in your bed…"

I shuddered at the implications my mind instantly threaded into that sentence.

"No, Riku, I don't mind."

"Thanks." He laughed a little before leaning forward and swiping my mug, busying himself by taking a swig of my coffee. "But I feel bad for kicking you out of your own bed…you could've stayed. It's a pretty big bed."

I tried not to notice the tinge of pink on Riku's soft, flawless cheeks; instead giving a small, polite laugh.

"What would people say if you were suggesting such improper things to me, young man?" Riku raised a suggestive eyebrow at the comment, trying to hold back his laughter.

"Good thing nobody's around then, huh? You're all mine." He raised a silver eyebrow and gave me a seductive look, but I couldn't help but laugh, even though a dark place in my mind secretly desired for his suggestions to be real.

"Oh Riku, you're a misfit to society." The teen yawned in response, a smile still gracing his lips.

"Good. That means I don't belong in society…I belong here with you, instead." He placed a surprisingly gentle hand over mine, giving me an innocent, sincere smile.

"Riku…" I began softly, but my voice failed me and I simply stared at the boy, my heart torn.

How could I ever even _think_ of corrupting this boy's innocence?

XXX

Books and journals were scattered over my mahogany desk in complete disorder. I had fallen asleep while studying once again, my cheek lying against 'The Rich History of Hollow Bastion'.

As always, my dreams were plagued with the angelic presence of Riku, pure form tainted as I stretched him against my sable sheets, spreading his legs with my eager hands and plunging into the unquenchable thirst of my lust.

My hands clenched at the edge of the desk as I murmured Riku's name through gritted teeth. My fingernails dug into the dark wood and my various moans and gasps must have made it painfully obvious just what I was dreaming about to anyone passing by. My unconscious state didn't care though; my aroused body reacting on it's own to my inappropriately graphic dream.

In my desperate throes of fitful sleep, I didn't notice the lithe figure leaning languishly over me, burying his fingers in my hair and pressing his lips to my heated cheeks.

I didn't comprehend the soft voice whispering in my ear: _'I want you, too…I want you so badly, but I don't know how to tell you…'_

…

I awoke hours later, a kink in my spine, black ink imprinted on my cheek, and unbearably tight pants.

_'How wrong is this? I can no longer control myself neither when I'm sleeping nor when I'm awake. How long is it going to be until my resolve crumbles and the poor boy winds up beneath me against his will?'_

I leaned back in my plush, throne-style chair, pressing a shaking hand to my damp brow and closing my exotic orange eyes.

_'I'm losing what little control over myself I have left…'_

XXX

Time passes slowly here in Hollow Bastion. Between my futile attempts at obtaining the Keyblade, there is little else to do than train and daydream about the unattainable boy drifting through my thoughts.

While watching Riku training tirelessly one night, a dark stab of need drove through my body.

…

I never realized that pure lust could be so powerful. The raw, undeniable _want _was breathe-taking. I watched Riku's movements through hazy, glazed eyes.

His muscles moved seamlessly beneath pale skin, dark bruises and bleeding cuts sprinkled across his young body only adding to the grisly primal desire coursing through me.

The mere sight of the boy eventually overwhelmed me and I stood up, dazed, stumbling out of the training area.

Riku noticed my absence immediately and called out to me, stopping his training for a moment.

"Where are you going, Ansem? You promised me you'd show me that new move."

"I'm going to lay down for a bit," I said at a distance, avoiding the boy's gaze. "I'll teach it to you later."

Riku looked down at the training room floor, disappointed. I on the other hand barely stumbled to my room, heaving myself in the large four-poster bed taking up a quarter of the bedroom.

I stripped off my clothing quickly; my body unbearably hot in the restricting clothing. I sprawled out on the cool, silk sheets, instantly feeling more comfortable.

I laid back on the pillow, strands of my long platinum hair laying lightly on my chest and bed. I pulled up the ebony comfort for some semblance of modesty and closed my eyes, trying to think of anything but Riku.

…Of course it didn't work.

XXX

My eyes opened from my dozing state as I felt my bed sink underneath the weight of a foreign body invading my bedroom. I turned to the source as Riku crawled over the black comforter to my body, lying down and facing me.

"Riku…" My voice held a silent warning, but Riku disregarded it, instead molding his body against mine and pressing his soft lips clumsily to mine.

A bold move on his part.

"Riku, what do you think you're doing?" I asked into the chilled night air. The boy looked up at me, his glowing aqua eyes asking the question his lips didn't.

_'What does it **look** like I'm doing?'_

"I kissed you." Riku's voice was small as he turned and whispered into my dark-tinted pillow. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"You know what's wrong with that." My voice sounded harsh in the quiet bedroom and Riku flinched into the satin pillow, his hand tightening around the edge of the comforter.

'_And I know what's wrong with that…and I know how wrong it is for me to want it to happen again and again…'_

"I don't consider it wrong."

"Riku, you're much too young to be considering things like that. It's immoral." Riku's eyes flashed in anger at my comment…I had hit a sensitive nerve.

_'Way to go, you damn hypocrite. Calling **Riku** of all people immoral is a sin, Ansem…' _

"I'm not a child, if you hadn't noticed. I've grown up enough to know what's what in the world. Why the hell else would I be here? …I know what I want. Goddamnit, Ansem! I'm old enough to make my own decisions!" Riku practically shouted at me, his eyes darkening in his anger as the restraints on his emotions shattered.

"But are you old enough to accept the consequences of them?" I growled back, my temper beginning to boil.

Riku's eyes widened at my comment and he turned away, completely chastened, the blankets around him rustling loudly in the still room. I looked over at the despondent boy as I calmed myself, taking in heavy breaths and soothing my flaring anger.

After a few moments I curled up behind Riku and slung an arm over the teen's ribs, pulling him close.

"I know you want me," Riku whispered softly, moving his hand up to my arm. "I heard you talking in your sleep…you kept repeating my name over and over again. I know what you were dreaming about."

I closed my eyes, pressing my forehead to the back of Riku's silver head.

"I do want you; don't doubt my lust for you, boy…but I'm unwilling to sacrifice your innocence for my own needs. Do you understand that?"

Riku whirled around to face me when he heard what I had said. A cold light shone in his aquamarine eyes and they had been narrowed dangerously. His fingers gripped relentlessly on the skin of my arm.

"You think you know what's best for me… But look! Look at what I've become beneath your guidance! I'm a criminal…I'm a killer, Ansem!" Riku looked lost and frustrated, unable to describe exactly how he felt at the moment. "I've changed completely for you. I've disregarded my entire life for your needs! How is it fair that you can dominate my life and make all my decisions…and when I'm finally mature enough to know what I want, you tell me no! Even though you obviously want the same thing! This is insane, Ansem…quit fucking around with my life!"

I pulled my arm away from the seething teen, taken aback by the harsh words. My heart pounded painfully in my chest as I stared at the lonely, broken boy.

"Riku…I didn't mean to—"

"No, Ansem." Riku's tone of voice had softened and he sighed as he trained his cold pale eyes to the bottom of the bed. "No apologies. The past is the past, right?" His voice was weak and defeated, and it broke my heart to see him so alone.

Before he could react, I laid a hand on his back and pulled him closer as I momentarily forgot our argument. The boy didn't struggle and he leaned against me softly, his fingers wrapping themselves in the folds of my sable sheets.

"…Why can't you put yourself in my place for once?" Riku whispered brokenly into my chest, his fingers tightening against the dark cloth covering my torso. "Why can't you imagine what it's like to be me? …I'm so confused, Ansem. One minute I'm cursing at you and the next I…I want to--" Riku was able to lay a few fluttering kisses upon my chest and wrap his chilled fingers around my arm again before I pulled away, trying to still my pounding heart.

Riku didn't look slighted at my movement, though; instead he looked quite pleased that he had been able to touch his silky lips ever so slightly to my heated skin.

"Is that what you want?" I whispered, struggling with the sinful opportunity laid out before me.

"When I look at you…I'm so overwhelmed! The only thought that comes to my mind is that I want you to fuck me…please, Ansem…_please_!" His pained voice pleaded with me, his fingertips digging into my biceps in desperation.

"Riku…" I tried one last time to resist, but by that point I was lost in the thought of taking Riku senseless.

…Lost in the excitement of executing all my sinfully delicious fantasies upon the aroused teen.

…

The metaphorical floodgates opened. There was nothing left holding me back from the child. All the wrongness, the immorality, the pure common sense—it was all thrown out the window. The innocent form of Riku was arched willingly against me, his rightful purity depending on my answer.

…

And I lost control.

"…Strip then, Riku. Show me how much you want this." I whispered teasingly in his right ear, running my tongue over the blushing lobe. As much as I longed for the boy…oh, I loved having my fun.

Riku's fingers scrabbled wildly at the buttons on his shirt and he tore them off along with the cloth, revealing his pale, muscular chest and the flat planes of his stomach. Moments later his crumpled jeans landed on a heap in the middle of the floor, a pair of jade green boxers soon following.

"I promise I'll be gentle, Riku, since it's your first time. Now ease back…" I pressed his heated shoulders back into the silky onyx pillows, while I curved my tanned body over his.

"Amaze me with your skills…" Riku drawled into my ear, before turning his head and moving down to run his trembling lips along my jaw and the pliant, sensitive skin of my neck.

"I'll do more than that, sweetheart."

I ran eager palms down the boy's chest, my thumbs rolling over sensitive flesh and my nails lightly scraping the pale skin. Riku squirmed under my experienced hands and I flashed a grin at him.

_The fun had only begun…_

Riku moaned as I dipped my head to his navel, thick strands of my hair falling across my back and down over his taunt stomach, whispering over the skin I teased with my tongue and teeth.

I felt Riku's quivering fingertips bury themselves in my head, coaxing my gentle ministrations to a more desperate level. I moved downwards agonizingly slow, feeling Riku's body tense beneath me and hearing a deliciously tortured gasp come from Riku's mouth.

Riku parted his thighs willingly and I was lost, desperate to satisfy my suppressed appetite.

XXX

Riku's body trembled beside me; his shaking hand tucked securely in mine and his heartbeat impossibly fast in his thin chest.

"Ansem…I-I don't know what to say."

"Then silence will be acceptable, Riku." I cooed, running a finger down his pale torso.

"Ansem," Riku whispered, his wide Aqua eyes looking up to meet mine. "…Could we do this again? I don't want it to be a one time only sort of thing…" Riku trailed off, turning into my open embrace.

"You know it wasn't supposed to happen…even once." I murmured into his ear, feeling his body sag as he realized what I said to be true.

"But since we did…the rules have already been broken. I can't go back to normal after this. I need you, Ansem." Riku took the incentive, turning me onto my back and pressing me deep into the bed with a long, need-induced kiss.

After the boy pulled back, I raised a palm to cup his cheek, running my thumb softly along his bottom lip.

"We'll see, Riku. I'm sorry, but I can't promise you anything." Riku's mouth twisted down in disappointment, but he seemed to accept the answer, settling down against my side and pulling a sheet up around his shoulders.

My fingers found their way to his hair and I stroked Riku's silver locks until he dozed off, comfortable against my warmth.

…

I gazed down at my young lover, almost afraid of the power he held over me. I had broken down so easily when confronted with what I had desired so greatly…

_'I sacrificed my morals to have you. If anyone finds out about this, gone shall be my reputation… my respect…everything. Why am I willing to put so much on the line for you?'_

My fingers stopped, hovering over the boy's serene sleeping features.

_'Why do I lust after you Riku…why do I need you so?' _

I laid my hand against the boy's cheek, willing the answers to come to me.

…

But the only answer was the surrounding darkness of my bedroom…sweet, suffocating darkness.

I settled down next to Riku, pulling his limp figure over closer to me. He mumbled softly, but slung an arm over my chest and cuddled his cheek against my neck.

_'Riku…' _

**XXX**

* * *

_AN: As you can tell…endings are not my forte. Either they're really cheesy, or nonexistent. (Dies)_

_Oh well…I'm just glad I got it done. I've been trying to finish up this stupid little fic for months now…but nothing I wrote seemed right, so I kept deleting everything. I'm not really satisfied with this, cause I'm sure there could be way more to it…but I'm frustrated and this is all I could churn out. (Shrugs) _


End file.
